what a surreal feeling, to be on the eve of war you don't want and universal hate you can feel like a storm coming in. with all the protests and peace rallies and marches, what difference does it make? there is some talk of war criminal charges being brought against shrub, but is that even viable? he's chosen to eradicate the iraqi dictatorship in a legal way, via war, whether the UN supports him or his country supports him, or not. if he were supporting a coup or an assassination, that could lead to a criminal case.... but he's not. it's interesting, and sometimes supremely depressing, to find that human nature develops in such a variety of good and evil ways. if only we could all just get along...

and yet, the only thing i know how to do is keep on keepin' on, until i have no means of doing so anymore. i live and work in and near san francisco, which is a likely target for future terrorist activity, and yet am i supposed to let this disrupt my life? i'd go crazy sitting at home trying to figure out what to do, and i'd go crazy trying to anticipate something bad happening. it's difficult to trust the system when you have no faith in the system, but it's just as difficult to find any measures to take to feel like you're doing something to mitigate for the problem. that's why there was such a rush of people buying plastic sheeting and duct tape, because people felt like it was something they could do to prepare themselves. i should make a trip to costco for canned goods and water, just to have, but then if san francisco gets bombed out i won't have much need for it, will i?

in the midst of this, i'm choosing to fly across the country to a potentially volatile situation... i'm certain it will only have good results, but it scares me somewhat to think of the potential consequences. i'm overthinking, as always, but at the same time i'm quite looking forward to it.