today would have been the 20th birthday of my brother miklos, who died shortly after he was born in 1983. how odd, to think that i might have had a 20-year-old brother running around right now... i usually try to go visit his grave, but i won't be able to get down to san jose today. my parents will probably stop by this evening, though.

graves are such an odd thing, too. why do you go visit a grave? it's not like the person you know and love is hanging around there. i mean, the body is buried there, but the personality, soul, heart, etc are not left in that decomposed body. in a sense, people live on in your memories... so in death it seems like it would be the same way. other than being a focal point for grief, a grave really has nothing to do with that person that you're remembering. it may also be out of respect for the dead, but they're dead so they're not going to care...

of course, i'm also the one who was slightly wigged out by the fact that my grandmother was hanging out in a box on the counter in my parents' house. yikes!