nerves of steel

i've prepared my words carefully ahead of time. i've run through the salient points in my head, changing it up a little each time to make it sound less rehearsed, more genuine. i try to throw in some pauses for audience reaction, some slightly self-deprecating humor, some easy commentary that everyone can relate to. i know what i'm talking about, and i'm comfortable talking about it. i'm getting better at the meet-and-greet, and can make small talk without too many awkward pauses anymore.

so why is it that public speaking is still the bane of my existence? i, surprisingly, enjoy doing it-- not because i get to be the center of attention for a few moments (since i'm not a huge fan of all eyes on me), but because i really do know what i'm talking about and i like to share my information and passion with others. i like encouraging new people to get involved with my alumni group, or teaching department administrators how to handle sponsored research processes, or explaining exciting new developments in policy, or training new staff. i'm comfortable in a workshop setting (even more so if i can sit down and have a dialogue, rather than be a lecturer). so why is it that my nerves always seem to get the better of me?

fortunately, it seems to be more of an internal problem than an external one-- only those closest to me really can tell how nervous i am when i'm up there. (well, either that or other people are too polite to tell me otherwise. hmm...) given more than three minutes to talk, i think i am able to calm down a little bit and take it in stride. it's the seemingly off-the-cuff, brief remarks that have to be both poignant and engaging that really get my adrenaline going.

i have to learn how to forge my nerves of steel, as i still have another year left of this presidency of mine. i may have a mucky-muck title, but i definitely don't have a mucky-muck mentality. last night's speaking engagement was at an alumni event, i might mention, featuring ben howland and karl dorrell, storied basketball and football coaches at ucla. coach howland, when introduced to me, marveled at meeting one of the big-wigs at the event. me, a big-wig? i have a hard time living up to that in my own mind. i love organizing events, meeting people, and giving people the opportunity to get involved, network, and give back-- but i will always be sure to be approachable. my 15 minutes is halfway over, and then it'll be henry's turn in the blue-and-gold limelight.

it's great practice, of course, these speaking gigs-- and i'm getting additional good experience through recent work-related presentations i've given. all in the name of challenging myself, i suppose... and i'll keep on doing what i can while i'm presented with the opportunities to do it.

both coaches were fantastic, by the way. coach dorrell is friendly and engaging, and he's definitely comfortable in glad-hand social settings. he seemed very relaxed at the podium, and he worked the crowd well during the reception. coach howland is less comfortable (perhaps because his team and staff are smaller, so his audience is usually smaller?), but he was no less pleasant. both of them were very well received... bruins sure love their sports teams, especially when they beat usc! we're looking forward to some great things next season for both teams. i'm excited!

tay tracker: dnp
today's result: l (6-7)